Kong: Skull Island Film Review

by The World Weary

Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts
Cast: Samuel L. Jackson, John C. Reilly, John Goodman, Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson
Series: Legendary's Monsterverse
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Length: 118 Minutes

Gorilla Whale

Calamitous events are standard fare for most theater outings these days, and with the influx of "cinematic universes" everything that stars a marquee name (i.e, Godzilla, The Avengers, Batman v Superman) has to be a miserable film about miserable people dealing with even more miserable events that result in the destruction of a major city...

Then along came a Kong...

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Film Review

by The World Weary

Director: Gareth Edwards
Cast: Felicity Jones, Ben Mendelsohn, Diego Luna, Alan Tudyk
Series: Star Wars Anthology
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Length: 133 Minutes 

Aren't You a Little Bit Weak for a Star Wars Movie? 

This review features minor spoilers for the film in a clearly marked section.

This will be how it is for a long, long time, in this here galaxy. A Star Wars episode one year, a spin-off the next. Rinse and repeat. Initially, as a fan, its hard to suppress that rush you feel when you hear or read the words "new" and "star" and "wars" in the same paragraph.

Independence Day: Resurgence Film Review

by The World Weary

Director: Roland Emmerich
Cast: Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Liam Hemsworth, Maika Monroe, Jessie Usher, Brent Spiner
Series: Independence Day
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Length: 120 Minutes

Remember When?

This review features minor spoilers for Indpendence Day: Resurgence.

Remember when the White House blew up in Independence Day? Remember when Will Smith said, "Welcome to Erf?"

Are you ready for two whole hours of questions like that? If you are, then stop reading and go see Independence Day: Resurgence! If that sounds awkward, then you're damn right. It is awkward. This whole movie is just an escalating series of callbacks to the original film, that are as uninspired as they are boring. There's the classic destruction porn, the hero who sacrifices himself for the greater good, Jeff Goldblum's "ahh"'s and "um"'s, the air battles, etc. Characters even reference events from the first film in their dialogue, usually in a failed attempt to make the stakes seem higher. This movie bored my balls off, and I suppose I should tell you why...

Captain America: Civil War Film Review

Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Cast: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Sebastian Stan, Chadwick Boseman, Scarlett Johansson
Series: Marvel Cinematic Universe
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Length: 147 Minutes

Wait... This Again?!

"Didn't I already go through this shit?!"

Much to my annoyance, this is becoming somewhat of a tagline for the past few months of my life. I'd hoped going to the theater to see Captain America: Civil War would change things, even if only for a little while, and I'd get to see what Rotten Tomatoes assured me was the smash hit superhero film of the century.

GUESS WHAT?!

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Film Review

Director: Zack Snyder
Cast: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Jesse Eisenberg, Amy Adams, Gal Gadot
Series: DC Extended Universe
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Length: 151 Minutes

The CGI Action Figure Slaparound of the Century!

Here it is...

I remember being a child and hearing they were going to make a Batman versus Superman movie. I was excited. What comic fan wouldn't be? The two most legendary of all heroes, testing their prowess against one another. Of course, as a kid, I wasn't worried about what bullshit reason would need to be conceived in order for these titans to get in the ring, I just wanted to see, on a movie screen, a version of what I saw in my head when I took my Batman toy and my Superman toy and bashed them into one another again, and again. Apparently, Zack Snyder felt the same.

10 Cloverfield Lane Review

Director: Dan Trachtenberg
Cast: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Goodman, John Gallagher Jr.
Series:Cloverfield
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Length: 103 Minutes

Winstead Outta Hell

I don't think anybody expected a "sequel" to Cloverfield. I certainly didn't. Yet, here it is, like that one guy who keeps showing up to the party, that no one quite knows, but everyone allows because he's mostly inoffensive.

So is this another found footage and Godzilla mash up? Nope. Tonally, visually, and basically fundamentally, this is a different film. More of a thriller than a straight up horror film, 10 Cloverfield Lane is an interesting, if somewhat misguided film, that at the very least opens up the Cloverfield name to potential franchise status.

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace Film Review

by The World Weary

Director: Sidney J. Furie
Cast: Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder, Mark Pillow
Series: Superman
MPAA Rating: PG
Length: 90 Minutes

 

Nuclear Powered Bitchslap

(Spoilers for the previous three Superman films are below).

After the flop that was Superman III, Christopher Reeve felt the series was becoming too campy and chose to shy away from doing another sequel. However, after being given the power to help shape the story, he quickly changed his mind. With Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal, Reeve developed a story fit for a Man of Steel adventure as well as something that would appeal to the fans. Unfortunately, the studio didn’t have the same reverence for the film and barely supported it throughout filming and post. The result is a unfinished, unsatisfying mess of a film.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Film Review (Non Book Reader)

by The World Weary

Director: Francis Lawrence
Cast: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Donald Sutherland, Woody Harrelson
Series: The Hunger Games
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Length: 146 Minutes  

(Contains spoilers from the first Hunger Games film. This review is being written from a non book readers perspective, we will also be posting a review from a book readers perspective).

We all fear what it would be like if the Nazis had won the war, or in an even worse scenario, if some new evil regime crushes the voices of the people and forces them into an oppressed lifestyle. Suzanne Collins’ Hunger Games Trilogy explored this idea and made some relevant connections between our current geopolitical state and that of her fictional land of Panem. Hollywood, once again capitalizing off the hard work of others, has begun making the novels into full length features. The first Hunger Games film was a massive success, and not bad to boot, and now the second film has been unleashed upon a Jennifer Lawrence/ Dystopian Sci-Fi hungry audience.

Star Trek: Into Darkness Film Review

by The World Weary

Director: J.J. Abrams
Cast: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoey Saldana, Benedict Cumberbatch, Simon Pegg, Karl Urban
Series: Star Trek (2009 Reboot)
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Length:  133 Minutes

 

Boldly Gone

In 2009, J.J. Abrams brought a reboot of the beloved Star Trek series to the silver screen. It turned out to be a critical and commercial success. With a plot that not only reinvigorated the franchise, but payed homage to it and made sense within the continuity of the entire series, Trekkies around the world rejoiced. Now, Abrams returns to the director’s chair to try and outdo himself.

The Amazing Spider-Man Film Review

by The Wanderer

Director: Marc Webb

Cast: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Martin Sheen, Dennis Leary

Series: The Amazing Spider-Man

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Length: 136 Minutes

The Amazing Spider-Man is the first film of a 2012 reboot of the original Spider-man film franchise. Again like Sam Raimi’s take on Spider-man in the previous franchise we get the origin story of Spider-man, albeit a different take, and Spider-man has different girl he is chasing this film in Gwen Stacey.

With the reboot of the franchise occurring after Spiderman 4 was nixed, and less than a decade after Raimi finished his trilogy the greedy movie making executive looking to exploit a money making character immediately comes to mind. However, the film does Spider-man justice and ultimately creates the best Spider-man film to date.

With the first film in what is assumed to be another Spider-man trilogy complete, it is safe to say that this franchise reboot may even be able to rival Nolan’s Batman franchise later on down the line. Until then this is an excellent re-start to the Spider-man franchise that has already surpassed the previous trilogy created by Raimi.

The Matrix Revolutions Film Review

by The Wanderer

Director: The Wachowskis
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Carrie Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, 
Series: The Matrix
MPAA Rating: R
Length: 129 Minutes 

The Matrix Revolutions

(Spoilers for The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded are below).

After the disastrous second movie in the Matrix series, Matrix Revolutions looks to redeem the franchise, and bring the trilogy to a worthwhile conclusion.

The film does move the plot forward and fighting sequences in this film aren’t as pointless as they were in The Matrix Reloaded, however the way the story concludes leaves a number of plot holes and moments that make the outcome of the battle between humans and machines feel very artificial, and logically a giant contradiction.

The Matrix Revolutions continues putting the Matrix film series on its path of self-destruction.  Although not as terrible as the previous film, the final installment is anti-climactic and unfulfilling.

The Matrix Reloaded Film Review

by The Wanderer

Director: The Wachowski Brothers
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Carrie Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving
Series: The Matrix
MPAA Rating: R
Length: 138 Minutes

The Matrix Reloaded 

 

(Spoilers for The Matrix are below)

The Matrix Reloaded looked to capitalize off the success of its predecessor The Matrix and continue Neo’s story as he leads humanity in the war against the machines.  In a sequel that really needed to focus on expanding the story about the war effort against the machines, the film instead resorts to more of the same old formulas and tricks that made the first Matrix film great – lots of guns and kung fu fighting scenes.

Unfortunately this doesn’t work as The Matrix Reloaded seems to believe it can win over audiences by upgrading certain aspects of the fighting scenes from the previous film.  Instead of Neo fighting hand to hand combat against enemies, he now fights enemies with SWORDS!  Instead of Morpheus and Trinity fighting enemies in buildings they now fight them in MOVING VEHICLES!

Alien Resurrection Film Review

by The Wanderer 

Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet

Cast: Sigourney Weaver, Winona Ryder, Ron Perlman, Dominique Pinon, Gary Dourdan, Michael Wincott, Brad Dourif, Leland Orser, Dan Hedaya, J. E. Freeman, Kim Flowers, Raymond Cruz

Series: Alien

MPAA Rating: R

Length: 109 minutes

Buy on Amazon!

Alien Resurrection

(Spoilers for the previous three Alien films are below).

The ending to Alien 3 was conclusive…until Hollywood decided to make this movie.  Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) is back, despite having jumped into a vat of lava in Alien 3, and is now a clone mixed of Ripley’s memories and alien genetics… she’s super strong and nearly immune to physical pain …Oh Boy!

Alien Resurrection proves that the Alien franchise should never have been brought back from the dead.  It’s not due to having a lack of talented people on hand to make this film, its the fact that the Alien franchise, or at least the parts concerning Ripley, have no room to breathe and develop as a story.

Cowboys and Aliens Film Review

by The Wanderer

Director: Jon Favreau

Cast: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, Sam Rockwell, Adam Beach, Paul Dano, Noah Ringer

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Length: 118 minutes

Buy on Amazon!

Cowboys and Aliens feels like a worlds collide type of film.  The western meets science fiction, Indiana Jones meets James Bond, and cowboys battle aliens – this film has the potential to be seriously entertaining, and at times it is just that, but its attempts to make a more serious character driven movie fall flat.

All things considered, Cowboys and Aliens is well acted (by most of the cast), it has a good amount of action film related humor and one-liners, and its action scenes will keep you on the edge of your seat.  This is a film with a mostly great cast, a great premise, and a great mash-up of genres that had all the marks for being a success, but unfortunately it falls well short of the mark.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Film Review

by The World Weary

Director: John M. Chu
Cast: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, D.J. Cotrona, Byung-hun Lee, Adrianne Palicki, Ray Park
Series: G.I. Joe
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Length: 110 Minutes

Buy on Amazon!

Retaliation Against Intelligence

(This review contains spoilers for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra).

After the success of 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, it was announced that another Joe movie would be coming out in 2011. However, the film was pushed back and now in 2013 the silver screens of America are tainted with this thoughtless action romp.

Superman: The Movie Film Review

by The World Weary

Director: Richard Donner
Cast: Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, Marlon Brando
Series: Superman
MPAA Rating: PG
Length: 143 Minutes 

Buy on Amazon!  

 

You’ll Believe

Everybody knows the story. Little Kal-El of the planet Krypton is launched in a ship away from his home by his wise father Jor-El as the planet explodes. Years later the boy lands on Earth and is discovered by Jonathon and Martha Kent. The Kents take the boy and raise him as their own. As the boy grows, he discovers that the sun’s rays give him super strength and speed.

Upon his 18th birthday, and after Jonathon suffers a fatal heart attack, Kal-El finds a mysterious crystal that grows into a giant fortress. Inside the fortress, Jor-El has gathered all the knowledge of the 28 known galaxies and imparts that alongside a healthy dose of paternal wisdom to his son. Twelve years later, Kal-El tasks himself with the protection of his new home and it’s inhabitants. Thus, was Superman born.

Total Recall (2012) Film Review

by The Wanderer 

Director: Len Wiseman

Cast: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, John Cho, Bill Nighy

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Length: 118 minutes

Buy on Amazon!

 

Bang Bang Boom Boom

Hollywood seems to like remakes, and they really like Philip K. Dick – so we now have another Total Recall.  Is this as good as the previous Total Recall, no.  Is it even a good movie – not really.  I will say this version of Total Recall is very fast paced, the film can’t seem to go five minutes without having an explosion, a shoot out, or some other random act of violence.  So people who like action films should end up being entertained.

But the movie drops the ball on developing and creating characters that the audience can empathize with – usually sacrificing precious character development time for a few extra explosions.  Total Recall has some nice special effects, but that’s about the only nice thing about it.

Alien vs. Predator Film Review

by The Wanderer

Director: Paul W. S. Anderson

Cast: Sanaa Lathan, Lance Henriksen, Raoul Bova, Ewen Bremner, Colin Salmon

Series: Alien/ Predator (Crossover), Alien vs. Predator

MPAA Rating: R

Length: 101 minutes

Buy on Amazon!

 

Alien vs. Predator

(Spoilers for the previous Alien and Predator films below).


If you thought it was possible for the Alien franchise to fall any further than it did after Alien Resurrection, think again.  Alien vs. Predator is awarded the task to ruin not one great science fiction franchise, but two.

This has nearly all the makings of a terrible film: one dimensional characters, terrible acting, a plot that undermines previous installments in both Predator and Alien franchises, and scenes that defy logic in ways that would insult any casual action film fan.

A new low for Predator, a new low for Alien – as the monsters from each tired franchise battle each other for supremacy, I find myself wanting both monsters to die so Hollywood can’t make any more of these terrible movies.  Regrettably, in AVP, you can’t always get what you want.

Superman Returns Film Review

by The World Weary

Director: Bryan Singer

Cast: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, James Marsden

Series: Superman 

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Length: 154 Minutes

Buy on Amazon!

 

Return to Form

Superman fans were never really given a great follow up to Superman: The Movie. Superman II had the epic showdowns, but ruined it with lame comedy and weak subplots. Superman III and IV were more or less the same in the fan dissatisfaction department. Superman IV did so bad with fans and critics alike that it caused the franchise to go into a 19 year hiatus. During this time, Christopher Reeve became paralyzed in a tragic accident, forever spoiling plans to bring him back for a fifth film. After many failed attempts to bring the legendary hero back into the cinemas, Bryan Singer finally brought one project to fruition.

A Sound of Thunder Film Review

by The Wanderer

Director: Peter Hyams

Cast: Edward Burns, Catherine McCormack, Ben Kingsley

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Length: 110 minutes.

Buy on Amazon!

 

There’s A Sound, But It’s Definitely Not Thunder

A Sound of Thunder is the big budget adaptation of Ray Bradbury’s novel with the same name. In that last sentence I emphasize the word BIG BUDGET because when you watch this film it’s nearly impossible to believe that 80 million dollars was spent on production.

The film tells a decent story about the dangers of time travel and the butterfly effect … props to Ray Bradbury. Unfortunately this futuristic story is completely undermined by poor set designs, a wardrobe from the early 2000’s, and some of the worst CG effects I’ve seen in a big budget 21st century film.

A Sound of Thunder makes a sound that can only be described as a whimper.